Rocks and Snakes

I wrote these values on rocks and I keep them in my dresser drawer.  From time to time I pull them out just to double check I am still following them.  I see them as a set of guidelines, like rocks along a path.  They represent the direction I want to go and character I want to have for the journey.   I am not perfect at keeping them but when I look back at the end of life, these are things I hope I did well.  My rocks include:

• Lead well
• Be Passionate
• Be real, not perfect
• Have courage
• Pray through
• Relax
• Be a lifelong learner
• Choose joy

I think we could all agree having core values is a good exercise.  Over the past several months I have been paying attention to my “self-talk” and what I regularly say to myself.  Is it kind?  Is it true?  Are there lies that I am believing? If so, how did they get there? 

I am a visual person, so I always like a good picture.  What I see happening to me and so many others is that we have our rocks and they make the path we want to go in life.  However, what we fail to see or deal with are the snakes in the path.  Sometimes they are big snakes that you just have to deal with before you can move forward.  Other times, they are the tiny ones that hide in the cracks of the path and you don’t even know they are there until you step on them.  Let me give you a few examples of my snakes over the years.  In my late 20’s I went through a dark period.  At the core, it stemmed from a lie of “I am not good enough”.  I don’t know what I wasn’t good enough for, but it just wasn’t enough.  During this time, I worked through this and reframed this thinking.  Sometimes this snake tries to follow me.  It changes colors and comes out as, “you’re not smart enough to run this business or you’re not athletic enough, or not a good enough mom”. After talking to people in all walks of life I really believe we all have an “I am not enough” snake.  If this one follows me for a bit, I recognize it and am able to see it as a snake verses truth and move past it on the path. 

We can find the big snakes in our lives if we are willing to look.  They take courage to deal with because sometimes I think you have to really chop the snakes head off to be able to move on in the path.  The little snakes are trickier for me.  They aren’t yelling out “you’re not good enough”, instead they whisper lies.  I have 2 examples of these lies in my life.  One I dealt with a few years ago was truly trying to take a day off and not feel like I had to be working all the time.  What I needed was a break from all work and an intentional focus on family or whatever brings me joy.  Honestly, when I heard of the principle of taking a sabbath, I would have told you that commandment didn’t apply in today’s world and I was much too busy.  Funny thing is, the more successful people I talked with about the topic, the more I found they did it.  It has been a work in progress for me, but after continuing to work on this, I don’t feel guilty if I don’t work for a day. 

The snake I am currently dealing with is asking for help.  I would rather do things myself.  Isn’t it just easier that way?  It gets done the way I like it (might not be the best way, but it is my way).  That doesn’t really work in a business, family or any organization.  At OTF, I am really trying to make the decisions only I can make and let my team make the others.  I am there to coach and mentor, but really let the team do what they were hired and 100% capable to do.  I am even learning this at home…. slowly.

In closing, why do I share some of these examples?  To show you that you can’t truly follow your rocks and path if you don’t deal with your snakes.  I can’t lead well or be real and not focused on perfect if I am believing I am not good enough.  I can’t relax or choose joy if I feel like I have to work 24/7 and can’t ask for help.  To me they go hand in hand, but snakes are no fun to talk about or deal with, but if you want to be the person you were created to be…it is a must!

Over the next week, find some rocks and really think about what your core values are.  Then think about a snake in the path that keeps you from keeping your core values.  How will you move past it?  It may take help from others, but I am confident you are able!  I would love to hear about your journey through the land of rocks and snakes!